Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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