Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
