I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
