found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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