She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
