areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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