On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
