Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
