My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize