$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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