You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I puked a lego.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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