I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
