No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
