Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
