dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we're making bets on your personal life
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
