I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
