My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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