is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Randomize
