I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
