real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
