i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
