Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
