Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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