I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
