Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
