i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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