Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
