I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
