So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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