i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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