I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Girls should come with a carfax report
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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