Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
