Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize