After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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