So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Houston, we have a blender
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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