haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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