Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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