So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
