So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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