I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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