this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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