So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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