apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize