First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
