I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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