i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
whose parrot is this?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
