Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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