Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize