I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This is the high leading the old right now
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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