All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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