the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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