I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
