I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
