You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
