Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize