the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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