new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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