Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
