he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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